Le principe des vases communicants.
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Le principe des vases communicants.


Le principe des Vases communicants
 
Avez-vous remarqué comme il peut nous arriver parfois de décharger sur une personne une frustration ou une colère que nous éprouvons par rapport à une situation qui n’a rien à voir avec cette personne ?
Il s ‘agit du principe des vases communicants.
  

Il y a le vase communicant travail/couple.
Par exemple, mon chef m’a fait des reproches concernant un dossier dans la journée et le soir, emplie de colère et d’un sentiment d’injustice, je vais m’en prendre à mon conjoint pour une « broutille » (le rangement des vêtements par exemple). Cela va bien sûr avoir pour effet de générer une tension voire un conflit et aussi de l’incompréhension de la part de mon conjoint qui peut-être sera surpris de l’intensité de ma réaction.
 
Le vase communicant relation de couple/relation parent-enfant fonctionne lui aussi très bien malheureusement. Il s’agit de décharger sur nos enfants les tensions que nous éprouvons dans notre relation de couple. Je suis frustrée ou triste de l’attitude de mon conjoint, alors je m’énerve très rapidement sur mes enfants. Ceux-ci subissent alors mes sautes d’humeur sans comprendre et peuvent ressentir de l’injustice. 
Je pense que chacun de nous a déjà vécu ce type de situation.
 
De façon encore plus inconsciente, il existe un vase communicant entre nos relations passées et présentes avec nos propres parents et celles que nous avons avec nos proches aujourd’hui.

Ainsi, ce que nous n’avons pas réglé vis-à-vis de nos propres parents risque de resurgir dans d’autres relations.

Si j’ai un conflit non réglé avec ma mère, je vais peut-être « décharger » cela d’une façon ou d’une autre sur mes enfants. Il en va ainsi notamment des violences reçues dans l’enfance qui peuvent, si nous n’en guérissons pas, être reproduites avec nos propres enfants, ou bien s’exprimer sur nous-mêmes par le biais de somatisations par exemple.
Ainsi, rien ne se perd : les émotions, les violences, les paroles, les actes circulent en nous et dans nos différentes relations. 
 
Si nous ne mettons pas de mots dans la relation concernée, nous allons d’une façon ou d’une autre nous exprimer ailleurs, à un autre moment… Et cela ne pourra pas régler la situation puisque nous n’aurons pas agi au bon endroit.



Alors comment sortir de ce système de vases communicants, ou au moins minimiser ses effets les plus néfastes ?

D’abord, en prenant conscience que nous avons différentes relations autour de nous, professionnelle, de couple, parent-enfant, familiale, amicale

Chacune est unique et demande à être traitée individuellement.
Vous pouvez visualiser ces différentes relations avec des écharpes pour voir les couleurs, les textures uniques de chaque relation.
Il s’agit de vivre nos relations, en ayant conscience de la personne qui se trouve en face de nous.

Ensuite, je vous propose de régler les choses au fur et à mesure dans chaque relation concernée.
Si j’ai une demande à faire, un ressenti à exprimer, je le fais à la personne concernée. Inutile donc d’accabler mon partenaire de couple de mes problèmes au travail : je vais plutôt tenter de les régler.

Il s’agira par exemple de dire notre frustration à notre chef, au lieu de la décharger sur notre conjoint.

D’ailleurs, cela permet de garder nos énergies pour régler les problèmes plutôt que d’en parler sans agir. De même, il s’agira de dire à notre mari ou à notre épouse que nous avons mal vécu tel comportement, plutôt que de s’emporter sur nos enfants.

Je vous invite donc une fois de plus  à mettre des mots le plus souvent possible, à dire votre ressenti, à exprimer vos besoins à la personne concernée. Cela permettra de décharger votre tension intérieure, donc d’être plus disponible pour vos autres relations.
Enfin, quand mettre des mots n’est pas possible ou n’est pas suffisant, il est toujours possible de symboliser ce que nous avons à l’intérieur de nous pour ne pas le faire peser sur les autres.
 
Si je reprends mon exemple de difficultés au travail : en rentrant à la maison, pour être plus disponible pour mon conjoint et mes enfants, je peux prendre un objet pour symboliser mes préoccupations ou ma colère, ou tout autre chose qui m’encombre et je peux laisser cet objet dans l’entrée. 

Ainsi, je fais de la place en moi pour vivre d’autres choses, dans les relations présentes.
Au sujet des objets déposés dans l’entrée, il est possible de proposer cette démarche à chaque personne de la maison, ainsi chacun pourra déposer ce qui l’encombre et l’empêche d’être présent…
Prévoir une grande boite 

Source  : http://blog-espere.com





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Hi there would you mind stating which blog platform you're using? I'm looking to start my own blog soon but I'm having a difficult time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something completely unique. P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
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Gye on lundi 13 mai 2019 11:07
This is my first time go to see at here and i am truly impressed to read everthing at alone place.
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Gunter on mardi 14 mai 2019 00:12
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn't show up. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say wonderful blog!
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Tonga on mercredi 15 mai 2019 07:52
I'm really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Excellent work!
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Komine on jeudi 16 mai 2019 06:19
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Claypool on vendredi 17 mai 2019 00:59
Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thanks
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Krieger on vendredi 17 mai 2019 11:30
I was curious if you ever considered changing the page layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
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Troiano on mardi 21 mai 2019 13:53
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Forth on dimanche 26 mai 2019 11:47
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I've been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.
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Sams on lundi 27 mai 2019 19:08
Great article, exactly what I wanted to find.
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Dimond on lundi 27 mai 2019 19:11
It's great that you are getting thoughts from this article as well as from our discussion made at this time.
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Murakami on lundi 27 mai 2019 19:24
If some one desires expert view on the topic of blogging after that i recommend him/her to pay a visit this website, Keep up the fastidious job.
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Reveley on mercredi 29 mai 2019 06:08
Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this content together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!
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I like reading through a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!
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Plumb on samedi 1 juin 2019 12:53
We're a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with valuable info to work on. You've done a formidable job and our entire community will be thankful to you.
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Mckenna on samedi 1 juin 2019 14:53
Howdy! I could have sworn I've visited this website before but after looking at some of the articles I realized it's new to me. Anyhow, I'm definitely delighted I came across it and I'll be book-marking it and checking back regularly!
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Wehner on dimanche 2 juin 2019 01:02
This design is incredible! You certainly know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
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Mcwhorter on mardi 4 juin 2019 09:54
Hi, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!
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Norfleet on mercredi 5 juin 2019 12:06
I got this web site from my pal who shared with me about this website and at the moment this time I am visiting this website and reading very informative articles or reviews here.
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Boykin on jeudi 6 juin 2019 10:04
This is a topic that is close to my heart... Cheers! Exactly where are your contact details though?
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Girdlestone on mercredi 12 juin 2019 13:14
Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is wonderful, let alone the content!
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Lazarev on vendredi 14 juin 2019 23:40
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Whelan on mardi 18 juin 2019 22:09
Hello there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having trouble finding one? Thanks a lot!
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Case on vendredi 21 juin 2019 21:26
Greetings from Ohio! I'm bored to death at work so I decided to check out your site on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the knowledge you provide here and can't wait to take a look when I get home. I'm surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my phone .. I'm not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, wonderful site!
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Cutts on vendredi 28 juin 2019 21:00
Hurrah, that's what I was searching for, what a stuff! existing here at this website, thanks admin of this web site.
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Hoff on mardi 9 juillet 2019 03:12
Paragraph writing is also a excitement, if you be acquainted with then you can write if not it is complex to write.
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Greenberg on jeudi 11 juillet 2019 02:09
First off I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question which I'd like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I've had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips? Many thanks!
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FAruk on lundi 27 janvier 2020 09:37
Hope this help: please share this article. If you any problem to activate or Link error, through the comments below!!
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