La différence essentielle entre s’exprimer et communiquer
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La différence essentielle entre s’exprimer et communiquer



La différence essentielle entre s’exprimer  et communiquer


Une des choses que j’entends régulièrement quand je parle de communication, c’est 
« moi, je sais communiquer, je n’ai pas de problème de ce côté-là, je dis tout ce que je pense ! ».


C’est toute la différence qui existe entre s’exprimer et communiquer.

A l’inverse, communiquer, c’est mettre en commun. 

C’est un partage avec l’autre qui se fait avec conscience : j’ai conscience de ce qui m’habite et de ce que je souhaite mettre en commun avec l’autre et j’ai aussi conscience de la façon dont cela peut impacter positivement ou pas notre relation. 

Est-ce que votre conjoint a vraiment besoin de connaître tout le détail de vos problèmes au travail ? 
Ou plus exactement est-ce que votre relation en a vraiment besoin ?
Chaque fois que vous envoyez du positif, vous entretenez votre relation, elle peut alors s’épanouir et grandir. 
Les mots sont puissants, ils ont vraiment le pouvoir de changer la qualité de vos relations…dans un sens ou dans un autre.



Pour Mieux communiquer avec les autres.
   
Quelques balises qui vous permettront, je l’espère, de mieux communiquer avec les autres. Il ne s’agit pas de recettes toutes prêtes, plutôt de pistes à  explorer, pas à pas.


1) Commencer par s’écouter
Avant même d’envisager de communiquer avec les autres, il s’agit de s’écouter pour entendre ce que nous avons à l’intérieur de nous.Cette communication avec soi-même est souvent négligée : nous parlons sans prendre le temps d’écouter ce qui nous habite.
Je vous invite donc avant toute tentative d’échange à clarifier en vous-même ce que vous souhaitez échanger avec autrui : un ressenti, une idée, une demande, un refus…

2) Parler de soi à l’autre
C’est un véritable apprentissage et une discipline au quotidien : utiliser le « je » le plus souvent possible, afin que la communication devienne personnelle et authentique. En parlant de soi, il est possible d’exprimer ce que l’on ressent, ce que l’on pense, ses désirs, ses doutes…

3) Ne plus parler sur l’autre
Cela va avec le fait de parler de soi : arrêter de dire « tu…tu…tu », ce que Jacques Salomé appelle la relation klaxon. Je vous en donne un échantillon : « tu ne fais jamais ce que je te dis…tu ne ranges pas ta chambre… tu me déranges avec tout le bruit que tu fais ».Il serait possible pour passer du « tu » au « je », de dire par exemple : « je suis dérangée par le bruit » et non « tu me déranges ».
Je pense que vous avez compris l’idée : quand nous disons « tu », nous parlons sur l’autre et non de nous et il en sort rarement quelque chose de positif.
Arrêter le « tu » est à mon sens plus qu’un défi, c’est une révolution relationnelle ! Je vous invite fortement à essayer et j’attends vos retours !

4) Éviter les on
Pour personnaliser les échanges, je vous recommande de cesser également les « on ». 
Cela vous permettra de vous impliquer davantage, de sortir des idées toutes faites et de la communication stéréotypée.
Par exemple, « on n’a pas envie de sortir par le temps qu’il fait » peut être remplacé par « je n’ai pas envie de sortir… ».Si vous dites souvent « on » pour vous et votre partenaire, ce sera l’occasion de sortir de la fusion avec lui ou elle et de commencer à dire « je ».Exemple : « on irait bien au cinéma ce soir? » peut être remplacé par « je te propose d’aller au cinéma ». 
C’est plus impliquant, non?

5) Pratiquer la communication directe
Il s’agit de parler à la personne concernée par ce que vous avez à dire. 
Par exemple, si vous avez une difficulté avec votre chef, je vous invite fortement à lui en parler directement, même si cela vous paraît difficile au début.Cela sera bénéfique pour la relation que vous avez avec lui. 
Si vous en parlez à vos collègues, le problème ne sera pas résolu et ils seront mêlés à quelque chose qui ne les concerne pas directement.

6) Débusquer les non-dits
Si vous avez quelque chose à dire à quelqu’un,  dites-le ! C’est aussi simple que cela : les non-dits empoisonnent les relations, créent de la gêne, des conflits larvés… 
Même si c’est difficile, il est toujours possible de se dire, en disant « je », si vous avez bien lu le début de l’article 

7) Tenir compte de la relation
La communication doit permettre d’alimenter les relations, de les faire vivre et non de les détériorer. Je vous invite à garder cela à l’esprit lorsque vous dites quelque chose à quelqu’un, surtout si la relation est importante pour vous.
De la façon dont vous communiquez dépend la qualité de la relation que vous entretenez avec autrui.

8) Concrétiser
Il s’agit de sortir de la généralisation pour parler des situations concrètes.
Exemple : »je ne comprends jamais rien aux projets de cette boîte ! » pourrait être remplacé par « je ne comprends pas tel aspect du projet » 
et peut-être serait-il possible de formuler une demande « je souhaiterais avoir des précisions »…

9) Écouter l’autre sans l’interrompre
Quel plaisir de pouvoir parler en étant entendu ! 
Vous en avez sûrement déjà fait l’expérience. La bonne nouvelle, c’est que plus vous écoutez une personne sans lui couper la parole, plus elle se sent entendue, et plus elle sera disposée à son tour à vous écouter.

10) Accepter le point de vue de l’autre comme étant le sien
Même si nous ne partageons pas un avis, il est possible de reconnaître l’existence de ce point de vue, différent du nôtre… 
C’est un véritable apprentissage de la tolérance. 


J’espère que ces quelques balises vous seront utiles pour améliorer votre façon de communiquer. Je vous invite à essayez .Belle route sur ce chemin toujours étonnant de la relation ! 


Source /blog-espere.com


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